Monday, May 24, 2010
turkey, turkey, you are beautiful
phew! back from a 2 week-long holiday across europe. excellent, to say the least. pics and details to follow. for now, it's good to be back!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
to all you kiddies out there: please do not become this person
i have a peeve, i just re-stumbled over it.
catching up with people you haven't spoken to/seen in a long while, only to have them not ask you ANYTHING about how you're doing.
you know, i'm off the mark running and asking away questions relevant to the other person, and not a peep in return, not even to the effect of "so, what's happening with you?"
and that's a bullshit question, by the way- 'what's happening with you?'
it's like you can't be bothered to cast your mind back to even one salient fact about the other person, and frame a more relevant/interesting question. like, what the hell?
this does not apply to close friends and acquaintances. a casually-tossed 'wassup?!' is just fine with them. 'wassup' covers the events in a person's life over the last x hours, or maybe few days.
but get this, i'm ping/call/meet a long-lost friend (or worse still, THEY ping/call/meet ME) and while i'm framing questions related to our last time together/what i remember of them, they're either piling on more and more trivia about themselves, completely ignoring me; or just randomly tossing a miserly "so, what's happening with you?" at the end of it all.
i ask you, how does one begin to answer that? bah!
catching up with people you haven't spoken to/seen in a long while, only to have them not ask you ANYTHING about how you're doing.
you know, i'm off the mark running and asking away questions relevant to the other person, and not a peep in return, not even to the effect of "so, what's happening with you?"
and that's a bullshit question, by the way- 'what's happening with you?'
it's like you can't be bothered to cast your mind back to even one salient fact about the other person, and frame a more relevant/interesting question. like, what the hell?
this does not apply to close friends and acquaintances. a casually-tossed 'wassup?!' is just fine with them. 'wassup' covers the events in a person's life over the last x hours, or maybe few days.
but get this, i'm ping/call/meet a long-lost friend (or worse still, THEY ping/call/meet ME) and while i'm framing questions related to our last time together/what i remember of them, they're either piling on more and more trivia about themselves, completely ignoring me; or just randomly tossing a miserly "so, what's happening with you?" at the end of it all.
i ask you, how does one begin to answer that? bah!
social experiment
the last post about visiting dance bars didn't go down too well with my friends, who were like:
assorted friends: "wtf!?! we have to find about this from your blog??"
and i'm like: "well, you should make the effort to see me more often!" (imagine this said with a little smug toss of the head and maddening smug-face)
jokes aside, it didn't seem like a massively big deal, i was only mildly tickled by the whole thing (now, if it had been the good old days, and i could have witnessed some genuine debauchery, i would have been ALL OVER THE PLACE with it)
anyhooo...
a certain frequent commenter on this blog believes from these rants, that i lead an interesting life. oh hoo ha ha ha ha! you could not be more wrong. on days like the one i'm posting this on, i am Sloth personified. now sloth through the day is alright; but by evening, i will be moronic, and either suicidal or murderous (it depends on what's been on TV all day)
so think twice (!pause for effect here!) before you ask me to post more often. because you may just end up with useless shit like this! MWUHAHAHAHA!
assorted friends: "wtf!?! we have to find about this from your blog??"
and i'm like: "well, you should make the effort to see me more often!" (imagine this said with a little smug toss of the head and maddening smug-face)
jokes aside, it didn't seem like a massively big deal, i was only mildly tickled by the whole thing (now, if it had been the good old days, and i could have witnessed some genuine debauchery, i would have been ALL OVER THE PLACE with it)
anyhooo...
a certain frequent commenter on this blog believes from these rants, that i lead an interesting life. oh hoo ha ha ha ha! you could not be more wrong. on days like the one i'm posting this on, i am Sloth personified. now sloth through the day is alright; but by evening, i will be moronic, and either suicidal or murderous (it depends on what's been on TV all day)
so think twice (!pause for effect here!) before you ask me to post more often. because you may just end up with useless shit like this! MWUHAHAHAHA!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
one dance-bar-visit does not a pevert make; a.k.a. grant road chi rani
i'll cut to the chase, i visited a watered-down, now inexplicably un-glorious, dance-bar tonight (technically, i visited 2, but 'carnival' will not allow people of the woman-persuasion in, so that was a flop)
anyhoo, i visited Topaz, which, my 2 male-persuasion companions, and our driver assured me, was a one-time, super-smoking dance-dance bar in the best mumbai tradition. now, it's just sad, and wierd, kind of.
the singing was still lusty, and the women still capable of smokin' hotness, it's just that the license was gone. and for the life of me, i couldn't figure out why.
the only people who could have been affected by dance bars were the women (a.k.a. wives) and children whose men/fathers were blowing up livelihoods within those walls... did they really amount to enough numbers/votes to warrant a clampdown on the seedy loveliness/liveliness that it all was?
or, like one of my group said, was it that, a couple of years back, someone took the call; and now no-one had the balls to reverse it? (every vote counts for more today, i suppose)
in any case, i went to Topaz tonight. and being one of the female persuasion, i merited as much attention as 'fly-on'wall'/'random freak of angrez-education'/'emancipated vagina-card-carrier, but closet-lesbian'- their pick.
all this woo-hoo'ness, was at the behest of my 2 male companions; who remembered the place from its glory days, and our driver who once used to live in the area (again, a glory-day wallower)
supposedly, as urban legend has it, a raid at Topaz once yielded 8 crore rupees (our driver led me to believe all of it was SWEPT up off the floor! like AS IF!! like, really??)
in any case. there were a bunch of nostalgia-giddy losers there when i went (i was spared a few glances and dismissed immediately)
they were flinging notes of twenties at the (VERY disinterested) 3 faux-straight haired lovelies in sequin-spangled-sarees that were standing about- "show me some gandhi-notes bitches! and i MAY deign to wiggle some jelly atcha!"
there was LIVE music, mostly kumar-sanu'esque ballads sung by 2 chaps and a (once-glorious, satin-gown-wearing) older chick.
the younger of the chaps had a truly good voice, and would have won my vote (if i'd watched him) in any reality music show today. the other chap? ho-kumarsanu-hum.
the older chick? well now... interesting... she was an obvious hottie in her heyday, had a nice body (bit frayed around the edges), and a FAR better voice than either of the mangeshkar sisters' in their a.r.rehman/bala/kanika/faux-patriot, for-theatres-in-maharashtra-only, national-anthem renditions today.
we stuck around for one drink, slipped some hundreds for form's sake, and left; tried to enter the afore-mentioned Carnival in Worli, lucked-out, and returned to our respective homes.
end-note: as things panned out in Topaz; in spite of my obvious appreciation of the young (half-decent-looking) CHAP-singer; in my friend's enthusiasm that i reward SOMEONE, i ended up slipping the ex-hottie, woman-singer a 100-rupee note with a smile and sincerely-paid compliment.
summation: i should have either been a nostalgia-drunk, lonely male-person, or a lesbian; the universe had ordained either one or the other; i just missed both those lightning-bolts is all. sigh.
anyhoo, i visited Topaz, which, my 2 male-persuasion companions, and our driver assured me, was a one-time, super-smoking dance-dance bar in the best mumbai tradition. now, it's just sad, and wierd, kind of.
the singing was still lusty, and the women still capable of smokin' hotness, it's just that the license was gone. and for the life of me, i couldn't figure out why.
the only people who could have been affected by dance bars were the women (a.k.a. wives) and children whose men/fathers were blowing up livelihoods within those walls... did they really amount to enough numbers/votes to warrant a clampdown on the seedy loveliness/liveliness that it all was?
or, like one of my group said, was it that, a couple of years back, someone took the call; and now no-one had the balls to reverse it? (every vote counts for more today, i suppose)
in any case, i went to Topaz tonight. and being one of the female persuasion, i merited as much attention as 'fly-on'wall'/'random freak of angrez-education'/'emancipated vagina-card-carrier, but closet-lesbian'- their pick.
all this woo-hoo'ness, was at the behest of my 2 male companions; who remembered the place from its glory days, and our driver who once used to live in the area (again, a glory-day wallower)
supposedly, as urban legend has it, a raid at Topaz once yielded 8 crore rupees (our driver led me to believe all of it was SWEPT up off the floor! like AS IF!! like, really??)
in any case. there were a bunch of nostalgia-giddy losers there when i went (i was spared a few glances and dismissed immediately)
they were flinging notes of twenties at the (VERY disinterested) 3 faux-straight haired lovelies in sequin-spangled-sarees that were standing about- "show me some gandhi-notes bitches! and i MAY deign to wiggle some jelly atcha!"
there was LIVE music, mostly kumar-sanu'esque ballads sung by 2 chaps and a (once-glorious, satin-gown-wearing) older chick.
the younger of the chaps had a truly good voice, and would have won my vote (if i'd watched him) in any reality music show today. the other chap? ho-kumarsanu-hum.
the older chick? well now... interesting... she was an obvious hottie in her heyday, had a nice body (bit frayed around the edges), and a FAR better voice than either of the mangeshkar sisters' in their a.r.rehman/bala/kanika/faux-patriot, for-theatres-in-maharashtra-only, national-anthem renditions today.
we stuck around for one drink, slipped some hundreds for form's sake, and left; tried to enter the afore-mentioned Carnival in Worli, lucked-out, and returned to our respective homes.
end-note: as things panned out in Topaz; in spite of my obvious appreciation of the young (half-decent-looking) CHAP-singer; in my friend's enthusiasm that i reward SOMEONE, i ended up slipping the ex-hottie, woman-singer a 100-rupee note with a smile and sincerely-paid compliment.
summation: i should have either been a nostalgia-drunk, lonely male-person, or a lesbian; the universe had ordained either one or the other; i just missed both those lightning-bolts is all. sigh.
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